First step: Get to San Antonio.

This DNA-realigning dive into what we all once thought we knew as a hamburger starts in San Antonio, Texas – a must-drop pin on the map. This town’s culture has culture. Whether you’re coming to hit the infamous tourist hotspots such as The Alamo and The Riverwalk or strolling through one of its many unique and historic neighborhoods like King William and Southtown, you’ll leave this place fully recharged with a newfound appreciation for individuality.

So, from Austin, we head south for a quick and relatively painless couple of hours on Central Texas’ most dreaded stretch of highway known as I-35 (cue suspenseful horror music).

Now what? You said something about burgers.

Be patient, my digital travel companion – all in good time. We’ve got to work up an appetite first, you know? We’re going to order one of everything so we might as well kick some calories out of these fine specimens of bodies we’re working with here and what better way to do that than by taking a walk down a lesser known section of this town’s infamous Riverwalk.

Starting in the heart of the old King William neighborhood, we hit the trailhead just as it takes you north into Southtown, a once industrial area of the city that is currently in the process of reinventing itself. Call it gentrification – call it what you want – all I know is that it’s always great to see a long forgotten area of any city come back to life. This much quieter stretch of The Riverwalk invites many of its nearby residents throughout the day as they jog, run, walk or otherwise down a wide and meandering path alongside a peaceful, flowing river. I may not be a local, but it’s next to impossible to be in a bad mood while walking The Riverwalk. Judging from the local passerby as they wave or nod hello with a smile, I think they’d agree.

Hey, look – a burger joint!

Well how do you like that? The very burger joint that pushed me to write this very blog is right here on The Riverwalk! Okay, stop jumping up and down – your tourist is showing. Let’s regroup and act cool, okay? No one likes a babbling, bubbly tourist.

I’m not sure about the inside of the place, but if it’s half as cool as the exterior, we’re in for a treat.

Born from the mind of a well known local, Chef Johnny Hernandez, Burgerteca is something straight out of a Dia De Los Muertes celebration. I stumbled upon this place as I was planning this trip and it soon became mission critical for this most recent stay in one of our most beloved travel destinations.

Let’s head inside and see what this place is all about.

Okay, this place isn’t half as cool as the exterior as I’d hoped – it’s twice as cool! I spend plenty of time in the design realm, but I’m often amazed by some of the minds that can take such an industrial, almost Brutalist space and bring it to life as a vibrant, colorful, warming space that makes you feel right at home. In addition to the space, we were greeted by every single person on staff as we walked through the doors as if we were family that they’d been expecting. We were seated right away and soon found ourselves drooling over the menu items. But, let’s keep things in their proper order – let’s get some drinks headed our way.

Eat your heart out, Starbucks.

Not only is this place turning the burger game on its head, but they’re also giving the coffee industry a run for its money. Southtown Coffee is also owned by Chef Hernandez and I can say, without any doubt, that I’ve never had coffee like this. Though I sometimes romanticize about living in this vibrant city, I’m glad that I don’t in a case like this. If I did, I’d be living on the streets due to spending every last dime to fund my addiction to this coffee. Put this place on your list – right now.

As for me, I’m a sucker for a Michelada, and Burgerteca does not disappoint. I wasn’t a huge fan of the ice, but you’ll never find me complaining about a cold beer, no matter the shape, size or form. It was a mighty contender in the Michelada arena. I’d put it up against the best of the best.

Are we going to eat or what?

Ah, yes, the food – the FOOD! The menu was one of those that you can stare at for an hour and still not make up your mind due to the fact that every single item looks insanely good. It’s that, or you end up ordering way too much. We took the latter route and started with the Tater Tots a la Mexicana.

Look, I know that this is just a basket of tater tots with some chorizo, queso and pico on top but I’m convinced that these nice people made a deal with the devil because I’ve never had tots that were so damn crispy yet smothered in absolute perfection. They laugh in the face of the laws of physics as they tantalize your taste buds. I couldn’t stop eating them and I don’t regret a single bite.

Next came the main course – a Chilaquiles Burger for me, a Chicken Burrito Bowl for the pretty lady and a Cheese Quesadilla for our little princess. I’m still not sure what processed my wife to order something other than one of their specialty items, but the burrito bowl was tasty and she enjoyed it just as much. However, the orgasmic experience of this burger was straight out of a scene in Sex and the City. That burger and I got down and dirty and we traded a piece of each others soul, almost as if we became blood brothers. Man, I want to go back there right now and see how many of these burgers I can eat – and then order ten to go. The patty was perfect, the salsa verde was fresh and tangy, the tortilla strips crispy and the egg – oh my gosh, the EGG! Cooked to absolute perfection and the pies de la resistance of the whole meal. Without the egg, this is a damn good burger. With the egg, it turns the dial up to eleven and a half.

After devouring every last morsel of food, we were perfectly content just sitting at the table and enjoying not only the atmosphere but also the view of The Riverwalk just outside its doors. It was like being energized and relaxed all at the same time.

But I don’t want to leave.

It’s always hard to leave this sexy, sultry little vixen of a town but, alas, we must as new adventures beckon us down the road, hopping from one concrete jungle to the next and hoping to find the next precious gem just as we experienced today.

As for you – get up, get outside and go somewhere. Adventure awaits!

Until next time…